Dialogues with Grief pt. II - Oath of Forgiveness

I'm gonna let it all in
I'm opening the door
To all the darkness and all the light
I'm gonna let the sun shine through the cracks on my core
I'm gonna let the silences remain silent without asking them another word
I'll allow myself to have empty spaces
I'll acknowledge the absence of a heart who used to be a fighter
And now it's but a survivor
I'll allow myself to feel the ghost of the abyss and the sudden fall
That always fills my stomach with fear
I'll close my eyes and will not be afraid of the dark
Instead, I'll try to see stars and make my eyelids a lunar landmark
I'll stop leaning on my addictions as a way to distract myself from the dark place
I'll listen to the darkness calling upon my name and,
 I swear to God, I will resist it and I'll not run from the chase
I'll not kill myself today. I'll not beg for love and affection.
I'll not numb myself any longer. Instead of Death, I shall be Resurrection.