Sad girls club pt. II - lay low and alone

 

Sad girl is still sad

This time because she is sick 

In the head and in the body 

She needs to pick which one she'll treat

Because money is running low 

There are no jobs

So she has to hold on tight to the one she has

Even if is diminishing 

Even if it feels horrible

Even if she has to endure hate 

Sad girl needs to make ends meet

She needs to put on a brave face

Because this time no one is coming to the rescue

----

Sad girl wakes up again in hot sweats 

Her throat tangled in her heart

Stomach tied in a knot 

Sad girl is haunted by the drugs she misses

Sad girl misses the oblivion of being so high

She felt like an angel 

Sad girl considers once more the razorblades

The harsh voice in her head telling her to slit her throat

At least this way she wouldn't talk too much

Rub people the wrong way

Sad girl tries to ignore the voice but it gets louder

There's no sound in a haunted house other than the screeching voice of solitude 

Slit your wrists. Slide that knife across your neck. Try to OD on pills again.

Sad girl is sad because she wants to live

Well, she wants to want to live

But life has become a long waiting line

For the moment of release

For the moment in which she will be safe

In the arms of the one she loved the most

It doesn't matter if she's dead or alive

She wouldn't be sad anymore.

-------

Sad girl wants to be okay

Not even happy, God knows happy is a ship that sailed long ago 

She tries to be okay

She takes her meds, she goes to the gym, she sets her alarm for work 

Sad girl just wants to be okay 

Amidst the fever at 4am she calls for his name

But no one is coming to take care of her

So she drags herself to the hospital where she once walked with him 

The hospital bench reminds her of 40h awake and vomiting because of so much fear

Sad girl comes back to the echo of a home

She brushes her teeth 

She takes a hot shower 

She combs her hair 

And like some kind of black magic, sad girl falls

She just slips on the wet floor and falls hard

Pain reminds her that her body is alive

Sad girl is sick and hurt

She looks up asking for help

No one is coming

So she does the only thing she knows how to do

Sad girl once more fell

And once more, she picked herself up

Dusted herself off 

Sad girl did it again

And she did it alone