Soul mirror

 Today I was confronted with what for me was the most outlandish line I had ever heard 

And it did not come from a bad place

It came from a safe and sweet person who sees magic in the snow 

And takes his girls in adventures

He said "you deserve to be loved"

A weird truth I've recently learned to accept 

And as I nodded along to a friend's understanding of my grief

Because he understood that the love that I had, His love, was an ocean of peace I will never again baptize myself in

Because this kind soul understood without words that losing my person meant I lived in a world without music, there is just noise 

But then he digressed, as we all do 

He said "And you will find that love again". 

I stared at the little screen that makes reality feel like a boring background 

As if I was staring at his gentle ocean eyes 

I wanted to say "Friend, you are delusional"

I wanted to shake his shoulders and make him realize the uniqueness of being in love and being loved right now 

Across continents by a woman with sweet and fierce eyes

By two little badasses on snowboards 

By so many people and dogs and places

And then just like a magic trick, there I was 

I was raising the flag of love for someone who dares imagine I could ever love again

Me, heart and broken, me, thunder and war cry, me, damsel and witch, me, Odette and Odile, me. Wounded and healing. Haunted and loved.

His ocean eyes clear as glass, a reflection, a quick glance, the impression of a soul that somehow knows 

We've met before, friend, or did destiny send you here?

You, the most absurd ideas on your fingertips and hurried texts.

Outlandish and sweet.

Maybe too sweet to be true.

Maybe too outlandish to be a lie. 

Thank you. You made sure I remembered.