Paper cuts

I feel like all I've been doing for the past months is try to turn pages
I've turned page after page trying to get to the happy part of the story
Sleepwalking through my own words and motions
 I felt nothing and everything
 I was nothing because I once were everything Until my fingers bled
 So many paper cuts
 I bleed and my heart beats on the same rhythm
 Pouring out of me like screams and night-sweats
 I felt alive just in time to feel the pain
Thump-thump, thump-thump
 Heartbeat saying that I'm just trying
 Just trying to have a decent night of sleep
 Just trying to walk the dog
 Just trying to make a living
 Just trying to eat a meal
 Just trying to go to work
Just trying to live through this
Just trying not to be consumed
 I am just trying my best
 Will it ever be enough?