the darkling and the shipwreck

Oh dear oh dear

I am being surrounded by shadows

They come from me, they are born from my restless heart

They break my ribcage and come out of me uncontrollably 

From my eyes and my hands and my mouth

They are made of screams and sobs and the shadows I use to hide myself in

I became a darkling, a growing shadow of what I will never become

My shadows seek revenge 

They want retribution

They want body parts back

They want to trade one life for another that was taken

Because it was taken too early, too cruelly, too unfairly

I am surrounded by shadows that lived in my heart and now are living in my eyes

Tearing my insides apart and bringing them to me

Leaving it on the pillow my lover used to sleep on

Like a twisted gift, like a token of affection and grattitude

For finally giving into the dark

For finally accepting that there is no more light 

I cannot find my family, the shadows are thick and there is a storm starting

I cannot find my friend, they only see the shining armor that I once wore

When I thought things were fair and right and the good would prevail

They don't see how it does not fit me anymore

Maybe I'm a burden

Maybe I'm turning myself into a martir

Maybe I am just not worth their time anymore

Once, a friend said I was a beacon of light and hope

She said I was strong, she said my smile could light up the room

So now that I am a darkling, I wonder what my tears will do

Other than thicken the darkness

And bring on the storm to complete this shipwreck.