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I didn't think I'd be here (again)

 I'm sitting on my couch and I no longer have the strength to cry  I've got a bottle of beer to try and calm myself down  My lover sleeps peacefully in the room a few steps away  And I feel this ferocious shadow of a beast  Consuming me from the inside again  Invading my dreams, my thoughts, my heart  Filling me with fear and sadness and bitterness and pain  I did not think I'd be here again  Depression has a way to catch up like a stealthy predator  You do not see it coming until its teeth are already sunk  I used to think myself too tender for this world and to think that God made me that way  As a child I could swear there was always a light shining bright next to me, guiding my steps  And now, as I sit in this very silent room, I deeply believe that God has long forsaken me Abandoned me, forgotten all about me  As a jilted child with an imperfect heart and a poisoned mind  I see that I am not too tender for this world, I am in fact too weak to endure it  I do not want t

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