Itsy bitsy spider
I.
I have been watching a spider
For five months now
Everyday, I sit and watch as she builds her web
And captures her prey
I sit and watch and the spider remains untouched
Tangled on a metal table, she dangles
In a safe, cozy angle
I imagine her eyes staring at me
Merciful, pitiful, full of sympathy
As she was obviously so much more connected to the Earth
And her web was also made of odds
Life and death coexisting.
II.
That little spider, my everlasting companion
Truly a creature of God,
She knew she was so safe from all the harm
That was lurking upon my life.
During months, she sat there and watched
As I called you and told you about my lunch
As I got mad at your horrible habits and forgetfulness
As I cried out in horror or joy
She stared. She knew. She would have asked God
"Why? Why would you do that?"
And God would shrug, laugh and move on
Unapologetic fingers snapping
While He consciously crushed my life
And the little spider would just move on as well
"I'll work on my web"
And I wouldn't show up for a couple of days
"I'm sure she will notice all these flies"
She would mumble to herself, as she waited
She already knew
She didn't want to know.
III.
And so I sat there again
It was one of the bad days
Worse than the usual bad
Wishing the floor would crack open
And swallow me whole.
And my eyes fluttered open
My old friend looked at me
She twisted her body in a cruel angle
Dangling and staring and knowing it all
And because time was not important,
She continued to dance her everlasting dance
I wanted her dead, just like God killed you
I could crush the spider and wreck her web
Sticky white lines stuck to my hands,
the proof of the crime, the murder weapon itself.
IV.
She already knew.
She tried to tell me.
And I could see right through her,
And she could see right through me
Her life and your Death coexisting
Her Death caressing my trembling hands
Her web was made of odds and she knew it.
She knew me so much,
And she felt safe.
---
As I sat there today, again,
I loved the spider for surviving another day
And I looked at her with the same love and rebellion
That I looked at you.
On that simple moment, I knew it as she knew it
On terms of Mercy and Love
I am so much better than God.
I have been watching a spider
For five months now
Everyday, I sit and watch as she builds her web
And captures her prey
I sit and watch and the spider remains untouched
Tangled on a metal table, she dangles
In a safe, cozy angle
I imagine her eyes staring at me
Merciful, pitiful, full of sympathy
As she was obviously so much more connected to the Earth
And her web was also made of odds
Life and death coexisting.
II.
That little spider, my everlasting companion
Truly a creature of God,
She knew she was so safe from all the harm
That was lurking upon my life.
During months, she sat there and watched
As I called you and told you about my lunch
As I got mad at your horrible habits and forgetfulness
As I cried out in horror or joy
She stared. She knew. She would have asked God
"Why? Why would you do that?"
And God would shrug, laugh and move on
Unapologetic fingers snapping
While He consciously crushed my life
And the little spider would just move on as well
"I'll work on my web"
And I wouldn't show up for a couple of days
"I'm sure she will notice all these flies"
She would mumble to herself, as she waited
She already knew
She didn't want to know.
III.
And so I sat there again
It was one of the bad days
Worse than the usual bad
Wishing the floor would crack open
And swallow me whole.
And my eyes fluttered open
My old friend looked at me
She twisted her body in a cruel angle
Dangling and staring and knowing it all
And because time was not important,
She continued to dance her everlasting dance
I wanted her dead, just like God killed you
I could crush the spider and wreck her web
Sticky white lines stuck to my hands,
the proof of the crime, the murder weapon itself.
IV.
She already knew.
She tried to tell me.
And I could see right through her,
And she could see right through me
Her life and your Death coexisting
Her Death caressing my trembling hands
Her web was made of odds and she knew it.
She knew me so much,
And she felt safe.
---
As I sat there today, again,
I loved the spider for surviving another day
And I looked at her with the same love and rebellion
That I looked at you.
On that simple moment, I knew it as she knew it
On terms of Mercy and Love
I am so much better than God.
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